it世界五百强 优雅过年的八大秘诀 8 ways to impress(2)

在小公司就提“深度合作伙伴”。

If you just stay at home, say you're adept at doing business in Ionian! (Sounds like a Fortune 500 company, but it's actually from League of Legends)

如果是真·家里蹲，就说自己在艾欧尼亚做中路业务。（听上去像跨国企业世界五百强，实际上是英雄联盟）

错误示范

(If you say like the left,

you will get answers like the right.)

是你

I'm a designer.

You mean an art designer on Taobao?

三姑

是你

I'm a programmer.

Help me upgrade my phone!

二姨

还是你

I work in the media.

Help me with a problem I'm having!

舅妈

不要说自己是设计师

（“那就是淘宝美工呗！”）

不要说自己是程序员

（“帮我修一下手机呗！”）

不要说自己是自媒体

（“帮我报道一下上学难呗！”）

Don't mention details of your work, or everyone will be able to pass judgment. Just say the name of your company and nothing else!

新春同学会 Class reunion

During Spring Festival, you're sure to meet up with some of your old classmates, so choose your means of transport carefully! If you arrive on a battered old shared bike, no one will want to talk to you and they probably won't even laugh at your jokes.

春节期间会见不少老同学，交通工具的选择很重要。如果你骑着老旧的共享单车，从天际线慢慢出现，席间老同学可能不愿接你的话茬，你讲的幽默段子也不能逗乐任何人。

If you get there early, it means you have nothing better to do — important people are forever running late. So arrive late, hang your coat up, sit down and chuck your phone and car keys on the table with a smile — everything will be just perfect.

提前到场只会显得你很闲，大佬都要压轴出现。一定要姗姗来迟，把大衣一挂，入座，车钥匙往桌上一扔，满脸微笑开始摆弄手机，一切都刚好完美。

Avoid mentioning that you're still single — at your age it's never a good sign.

不要主动在席间提及自己是单身。it世界五百强你这个岁数还单身，不是优秀至极就是失败至极。

When the meal's over and it's time to pay the bill, arrange for one of your favorite uncles to barge in wearing a suit and whisper something in your ear. Look awkward, tell your friends you're "sorry, but it's an emergency" and head straight for the door!

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